Weekly Conversation: Bret Michaels as Texas Tech’s Head Coach; Third Quarter Song; and Ugly K-State Hats

Seth: Are we going to pull ourselves out of this or are we going to continue down this ditch?

Travis: Man, I really don’t know, and that’s scary. I’m usually pretty optimistic and have been trying to focus on the good things I see, but it’s getting harder and harder to do. When Jackson got that penalty in the 4th quarter all my nerves and unease disappeared and were quickly replaced with anger and even worse, indifference. Why I am wasting so much time invested in this when I get nothing out of it?

But of course I’ll be back on Saturday, in the same place, hoping for the best. What’s scary is that K-State and UT will just run the ball down the throats of the Tech defense.

So I watched the latest hype video put out by the Athletic department and thought it was really good. It’s crazy to think that this is the last home game for the seniors. Are there any special memories or particular instances that stand out to you from any of those graduating seniors?

Seth: I’m pretty terrible with specific memories. I take a ton of pictures, most of them meaningless, but I take them to remember moments in time. And with technology the way that it is, my photos have a time stamp and I can then recollect what happened at the time I took that picture.

I’m the same way with football games. It’s why I pretty much write everything down when the game starts because I know I’ll forget, even by the next morning, I can spend 10 minutes trying to remember how or why there was a particular play sequence. I can almost never recall specific plays, but my memories are generally ones made up of a compilation of memories about that player. For example, I’ll never remember a specific play by DeAndre Washington, but I seem to have this cache of similar runs that Washington has had. They all just sort of jumble together into one big memory. So my memory of Washington is one where he receives the hand-off and he stutters to the left or the right, finds the seam and runs for 7 or 8 yards. It’s something similar for Jakeem Grant in that he catches the ball, stutters, jukes, makes someone miss, breaks a tackle and then I hold my breath a little bit because all of that juking and stuttering has allowed defenders to arrive and I want to make sure he’s not hurt.

Those are my memories and those are the two players I’ll remember most from this class. I should really have memories of Le’Raven Clark, but I don’t have a single one because I never notice him. That’s probably a good thing.

What about you? Any particular memories that you’ll take with you?

Travis: I’m kinda in the same boat with nothing really specific. I do remember how disappointed I was with Pete Robertson early last season and how thrilled I was to see him turn it around and have such a great year. And you can never say enough about DeAndre.

So I dreamed last night that Brett Michaels was the football coach at Tech and I wasn’t too happy about it. Can you break that down for me and tell me what it exactly means?

Seth: If this is Bret Michaels while filming Rock of Love, then we might have an entirely different answer, so I’m assuming he’s on hiatus from the show and just promoting his newest CD, True Grit, which can ONLY be obtained via his website. Don’t think you can just go to iTunes to download this.

In any event, if Bret is the head coach at Texas Tech, you can expect for shit to be a lot more chill. I mean, he almost died in 2010, so there’s no need to get all anxious about wins and losses because that will simply just add stress to your life and no one needs stress. We need ladies, but not stress.

I’d also add that you’d probably see a lot more kick ass bro-country songs like Girls on Bars because we all know, no matter where you’re from, guys like girls dancing on bars and girls like guys driving fast cars. No matter where you’re from (please don’t click on this if you’re at work because it has everything you would expect from a Bret Michael’s video, which includes totally awesome music, scantily clad girls, etc.). I also think we’d get some significantly awesome halftime shows because Bret has connections. Not only that, but the speeches would just be Bret passing off old Poison songs like they were pearls of wisdom to live by (because they are pearls of wisdom):

Though it’s been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains

I know I could have saved a love that night if I’d known what to say
Instead of makin’ love we both made our separate ways
And now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Can you feel it? I know I can. I have no doubt that the team would look at each other in bewilderment and go out and be as kick ass.

I need you to find an uglier K-State hat than this:

Travis: Oh man I feel better now. Bring on the Bret Michael’s coaching machine. I’m ready for it.

As for ugly hats, I’m pretty happy with this one.

Seth: That would be a good choice. Two more quick questions.

1. Who ya got? Texas Tech or Kansas State and why?

2. We went through a discussion a few years ago for what the third quarter song should be and there was never any agreement about what it should be. I’ve got two decent ideas (one of them is probably not at all family friendly). What’s the idea third quarter song? You know, the one where you hold up four fingers to let everyone know you can count to four.

Travis: I think Tech gets the elusive sixth win. And for a 3rd quarter song, I vote for this

Seth: Wooo! Hooo! Travis is never wrong, here comes win #6!

Ed. Note: We were blessed with a couple more Twitter submissions.

And from Twitter human JOBO:

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