Staking The Plains Gift Guide: Michael’s Merry Picks

We STPers try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

Merry Christmas! I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to spread some Christmas Cheer. So here I am after passing through the seven levels of the Cotton Candy Fields, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drop tumbleweeds, and then walking through Ransom Canyon.

Taco v. Burrito ($19.99)

This game is very on brand for all of us here at Staking the Plains as we can’t agree on the best form of tortilla-wrapped breakfast to save our lives. Some of us recognize the benefit of the breakfast burrito and its ability to satisfy even the most powerful hunger while successfully keeping all of its contents intact. And the rest of you are wrong. The game was created by a 7 year-old, which means we all might have the skill level needed to compete. The idea of the game is to run out of cards by creating the craziest taco or burrito your mind can imagine while avoiding such treacherous cards as the Trash Panda and Order Envy.

ESPN+ January Membership ($4.99)

Texas Tech has the privilege of playing three basketball games on Big 12 Now this season, which is a streaming channel on ESPN+, which is also a streaming channel. To stream the streaming games on the streaming channel’s streaming channel, a fan will need an ESPN+ membership. The good news is that all three of Texas Tech’s games on this new platform will be in the month of January (Jan 14 at KSU, Jan 21 at TCU, and Jan 29 vs WVU). So, maybe customize a basketball Christmas card and throw in five crisp one dollar bills for one lucky Red Raider fan.

Bluetooth Shower Speaker ($31.99)

Has this ever happened to YOU? You’re listening to your favorite podcast or a Learfield IMG College broadcast of your beloved Red Raiders when, suddenly, you realize you haven’t bathed in days. How will you continue to listen without missing a single pitch or possession? You could try carrying the TV and satellite and router and remote with you to the shower, but we know how that will go.

The solution is simple: a bluetooth shower speaker. The one linked above is even submersible in case you celebrate a bit too much during a Jace Jung home run. Please bathe responsibly.

Speaking of bathing responsibly (work with me here), has anyone else seen that Coors is trying to corner the market on shower beers? Let’s not limit this delicacy. You can enjoy any can of beer with your shower – that’s the STP guarantee.

Death Star Ice Mold ($9.99)

This is for those of us who enjoy a fine whiskey and a bit of Star Wars nerdyness (hey, we exist). Keep that bourbon chilled but not watered down with a tiny replica of the That’s No Moon that destroyed Alderaan to prove a point. If you look hard enough, you may be able to see the thermal exhaust port Galen Erso left for a young kid from Tatooine to hit with a couple of Force-guided proton torpedoes.

Baby “Yoda” (One Camtono of Mandalorian Beskar)

This one is a bit costly, and you may need direct access to the Guild, but how can you resist this face?

And, just like that, I’ve hijacked this post much like I’ve hijacked the STP Slack Chat all football season to talk Star Wars. Does anyone have any theories on this creature? My current thought is that it’s only the same species as Yoda, no-relation. If it’s an offspring of Yoda or a Yoda clone, I’m gonna throw a Death Star ice sphere through a Cybertruck.

Before I go, there’s one final suggestion that will certainly leave an impression on its recipient:

Happy Shopping!


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